Object Love

Oh I heard the funniest thing today on the news. It's an American woman who is marrying a ride in the fair! I think it is important for women to have objects that are helpful in the bedroom, you know, but a fairground ride?! That's quite a big object, and what a sexual appetite this woman must have do you think? But the thrill will always be over so quickly... And so predicatable too, each time just like the last time. In the story it says that she keeps the spare nuts and bolts of the ride in her handbag so she feels close to it. Oh yes! I know some married women who do this to their husbands!

Last year another woman married the Eiffel Tower. I can't understand this at all. Yes it is phallic - but cold metal, that's not so sensuous is it. And it can't buy you dinner. Or telephone you. Lzb


IS your boyfriend less exciting than a lump of metal? Tell me why and I will offer advice for you to melt his cold heart (I'm like a poet do you think?) lazybird@amginternet.net

More secrets!?

Badly Timed Brenda has sent in her probleme - she has a lover, but she is going away... should she tell him? Should she remain it a secret? What would you do? http://lazybird-guides-problemes.blogspot.com/

DO you need to understand what your lover is really saying? Does he say one thing but then do something different? Email me this probleme and I will be your dictionaire! lazybird@amginternet.net

Catching men

Well, tonight is the night... maybe for love? I have my caramel and my eyebrows and my hair - which looks great actually. Alexi gave me a colour so my hairs are shining like a lake in the night. It's really beauty. I wish it was like this every day. I'm going to the hotel on the Champs Elysees at around 10pm to find the Irish man and ask why he likes to vanish and then ask what other magic he can show me. If he says he is with the circus, maybe I will run away on an elephant with him!

But first... we must ask, how much shall we do to find a man? Today Online Dating Virgin sent me a probleme. http://lazybird-guides-problemes.blogspot.com/ What do you think of online dating? Should she date a man with a monkey?! I can't wait to hear what you are thinking!

Maintenant, I'm going to get some wine and prepare for my adventure. (Should I bring peanuts in case of the elephant?)Lzb